After a three day weekend detached from the world, I have exactly three thoughts left to share. Certainly, more may appear, but, for now, this is what I know. If my idea generating writer’s block (more like flu than paralysis) doesn’t lift soon, I’ll resort to writing the best possible posts about absolutely nothing. Exciting as that is, here are my remaining thoughts.
- There can be no musical equivalent of fantasy baseball. A colleague at work sets up a fantasy baseball team with his son. Personally, I prefer to keep the dreary spreadsheets full of numbers at work, but that’s just me. Now, a fantasy band? Let’s build it and see what happens. Obviously, I get to pick the best at each position, throw them together and win whatever I’m going to win. So, the rhythm section has to start with the best drummer Ben Koller from Converge. Add in Savages bassist Ayse Hassan and it’s set. The vocalist would, obviously, be Jello Biafra. Who else? Then, Gordon Gano, from the Violent Femmes, would handle six string duties and, as needed, a few backing vocals. OK, that’s my band, the best of everything. Take the best, mix them together and you get this: a godawful horrible band! I have new respect for Malcolm McLaren.
- As I drove home recently, I found myself just behind a truck with large boxes and an unusually heavy tarp covering it all. From beneath a particularly loose corner of the tarp, a continuous trickle of bees emerged. I have no idea what that truck was carrying, but the scene at the next fuel stop is bound to be dramatic. If life were a CSI:Whatever show, the investigators would track the truck by following the trail of bee carcasses. Fortunately, my car is not allergic to bee stings.
- I am a novice guitar player whose skills are better suited to saying something sounds good than making it actually sound good (as in: some people have the perfect face for radio). I’m told I’m better than that, but, true or not, it doesn’t matter; I enjoy what I do. As my guitar adviser jhubner73 knows, I recently took delivery of ring modulating guitar effects pedal. I am in love with it! I have finally found a way to make my playing sound purposely awful rather than just incompetently awful. I finally sound like a second tier Sonic Youth cover band member rather than a third tier man pretending he’s still in high school. This pedal is completely musical in that it creates an extra tone above and below what I play. Those tones, the sum and difference, respectively, of whatever I’m playing on my guitar, make my guitar sound like a dial tone phone seeking revenge on the world. I don’t really know how to use that. But, when I dial it back, tune it just right, and add in a few other things, the sound turns into something really cool like a growling dog doing a bad heavy metal imitation. Perfect! It adds cool noise without obscuring anything accidentally melodic. I’m in love with a metal box of circuitry.